The new math...it's all 'relative'

A few days ago while we were waiting for Cassidy, Eli told me that he had to take a math test on the computer to determine his accelerated math level. I asked him what was on the test. Our conversation follows:


Eli: "Well, first it asked us to identify math symbols...like plus signs, minus sign, multiplication and division signs, and those dots called 'decimal points.' Then we had to do some easy adding and subtracting stuff.

Joy: "So, how do you think you did?"
Eli: "Okay, I guess, except one of the problems was kind of different. It said to write a hard math problem."
Joy: "Really? What hard math problem did you write?" ( I'm thinking some imaginary 2,0000 + 17 -45 = ir something like that)


Eli: "I wrote e=mc2." Joy: (gasping) "You wrote e=mc2? What did the computer say?"
Eli: "It told me that one was too hard and to try again, so I did. I wrote 10 divided by 10 equals one. Then it let me finish the test."


What AM I going to do with this boy?


(Photo courtesy of Phillip and my cousin Weston...they climbed on Einstein's head while we were in D.C. I wonder if Eli's head will ever be a statue for tourists to climb on?)

Oh, Christmas Tree...

Once again, the family tree has been trimmed. The lights are all on, courtesty of Cody, a six-foot-plus adopted son. I think we will keep him around for just this purpose. I was thinking a lot about the 'tree' last week, actually dreading the acquiring of, and then the decorating that comes after and seems to take forever. I was feeling a little out of sorts, observing all the beautiful and perfect trees that I was seeing in my midst. Cassidy works for a design firm and I am reminded everytime I pick her up just how beautiful professionally decorated trees are. However, last night, after the First Presidency Devotional, Eli's enthusiasm overtook me, and we decided to do the tree deed. As I pulled out all of the ornaments from over 25 years of life together, I was reminded that beautiful trees LOOK good, but trees like ours FEEL good. It is full of wonderful memories, each one invoking a smile or a laugh, or even a tear or two. The tree in all of it's glory. Yes, it's real, and yes it does smell wonderful. Phillip got rid of our fake trees years ago, citing the case, "We are denying our children one of the best scents of the season." I have to say I have a tendency to agree. An evergreen candle just doesn't cut it!

One of our most cherished wedding presents...a 'first Christmas together' ornament. It's usually the first one to to up, and the last one to come off.

I like this one of the Martin Handcart Company. It is a stark reminder of how blessed we are at this time of year (and all year round) to have a warm house and a bed to sleep in and more to eat than 4 ounces of flour. I like to reflect on that first Christmas the remaining handcart company members spent after being rescued and how it must have felt to be safe and alive. It kind of puts things in perspective for me.

One of Whitney's first ornaments. When she was little she looked just like this...curly blonde hair, yellow footie pajamas, and a bear that went to bed with her every night. I melt every time I hang this one up, remembering my precious little girl. She still has curly hair, although it's darker now. I doubt she takes a bear to bed and I know she doesn't wear footie pajamas. But I still melt whenever I see her, because she will always be my precious girl.

What can I say about this one? Cassidy was born on an April morning in the middle of the worst blizzard of the year. A lady I worked with at the radio station gave us this little snow baby ornament to remind us of that winter day when another beautiful daughter came to stay. She keeps our hearts warm and our lives bright!

My dear friend and fellow radio station employee, Wayne Richards, passed away unexpectedly this fall. These bumper stickers were circulating around town after his death. "Drive safely" was his way of saying to listeners and friends, "Be careful. I love you." I felt it very appropriate to find a place on our tree this year for a remembrance of a friend. May you and yours also, "Drive Safely" this holiday season.

No tree of mine would be complete without a touch of Mary Englebreit. Thanks to Miss Peg, each year a new "Mary" treasure is added to be enjoyed and loved. This one is my favorite!

Eli loves penguins. He wishes we could own one. We've taken him to Penguin Daycamp at the Zoo, and bought him every penguin book imaginable. Last year, we found this ornament and he just knew he had to have it. Until he gets that degree in Oceanography and Marine Biology and secures a job as penguin-keeper at Sea World, this is the closest he is coming to having a penguin as a pet!

When I was growing up my brother and I had a dog. J.J. the poodle. J for Joy and J for John. She was THE BEST DOG EVER for almost 14 years of my life. The day we had to put her to sleep was the first time I ever felt a loss of a pet. I've felt it several times since, but never as strongly. Now that John is gone, this ornament is just a little reminder of those fun days we had together, sister, brother, and dog.

Speaking of pets, we have a cat and her name is Gracie. She's really Princess Grace, but we shortened it down for convenience in calling her name when she is lost, which is quite frequently. We got her on a farm in Lehi when Cassidy was about 3, so we've almost had her 15 years. Most people don't see Gracie; she has a phobia for strangers. If you are at our house and you do catch aglimpse of her, count yourself lucky. It means she thinks you are safe, or you are in the way of her food. So, to celebrate her existence (or non-existence) we have some gray cat ornaments on the tree just for her. Sidenote: Our Gracie the cat doesn't wear clothes. We aren't THAT eccentric!

So, while the tree isn't up to Martha's standards...it's our tree, it's about us, and it's just the way we like it. Come over for some cookie and cocoa and I'll share a few more tree memories...

Thankful for Thanksgiving...

Aaahhh...the holidays. At our house, we have a few traditions that can't go unmentioned. On the Eve of the Day of Eating...we always watch HOME ALONE! We dress up in our pajamas and quote lines from beginning to end. Some of our favorites: "Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!" and "Santy don't visit no funeral homes, little buddy!" We may be crazy, but it just makes us happy! We can't start Thanksgiving until Kevin has slapped his cheeks and screamed AAAAAAHHHH into the camera! Of course, Thanksgiving morning starts bright and early with my dad cooking and the rest of us watching the parades. I still get excited for the Broadway show numbers, the Rockettes, and of course, the giant Snoopy and Charlie Brown balloons. Once we are all seated around the table, everyone takes a moment to express what they are thankful for, and we offer a prayer of gratitude. This year, more than ever, I have much to be grateful for. Health, employment, food, friends, a home, opportunities to serve, opportunities to learn, opportunities to love. We dine on the regular fare...turkey, yams, my dad's potatoes and gravy (my absolute favorite!), corn, rolls, spinach salad, stuffing, pumpkin pie, chocolate pie, and once in awhile, my mother makes carrot pudding, (absolutely NOT my favorite!) It comes complete with lemon sauce, which I took home accidentally one year as a leftover and poured a generous amount over my potatoes before realizing it wasn't my dad's gravy. Imagine a mouthful of lemon-sauce covered potatoes...not a pleasant memory. The rest of the day is spent taking walks, taking naps, playing APPLES TO APPLES, ROOK, and doing a new 750 or 1000 piece puzzle. Later we enjoy leftovers, the men enjoy a little football, and we watch another movie. I'm counting the minutes until it begins, and getting giddy with excitement for the moment when I watch Kevin's mom walk through the door to find her son, the one she left home alone, safe and happy and so glad to see her. It gives me goosebumps, and always makes me shed a tear or two. It's what the holidays are all about...being home, not alone, but with the ones you love. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

One blood donation can save up to 3 lives...

Until recently I had never donated blood. I have a fear of needles. But when I received a phone call asking if I would donate, I decided to give it a try. The first test they did told me I was too anemic, but they pricked a different finger with a different needle and the second time I passed. To quote a famous slogan, "That was easy!" and before I knew it, I was enjoying the free cookies and punch. So easy, in fact, that I will probably do it again. And again. And again. It's free, it doesn't take much time, and it can be used to help someone in need. The best ending to this story comes now: I've never known my blood type until I received my donor card in the mail today. I'm not sure if you can see it or not. I'm "B Positive" Enough said. Maybe it is a sign from above. Or maybe just a reminder to live up to my name. So, whatever you do today and wherever you go, think of my blood type and "B Positive".

You have got to be kidding me!

I just stopped at Walmart to buy a loaf of bread, some bananas, and a few bottles of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. One to celebrate (or commiserate) the election outcome; one to give as an opening night gift for a play. As I'm waiting for the clerk to ring it up, I realize he is looking at me a little weirdly. Soon enough, I find out why. "Ma'am...since this is non-alcoholic, I won't have to card you. Otherwise, I would need to see some id." WHAAAAAATT???? He thinks I don't look old enough to buy non-alcoholic cider? I should've been flattered, but I think it just made me wonder...where do they find these Walmart workers?

Halloween...Part Three.

This is the last one. I promise. It's starting to look like I'm a little blog-deprived. Eli just read me a comic from last week's paper. He's laughing so hard he might lose another tooth. It's from FOR BETTER OR WORSE. The little boy wants to be Batman, but his brother tells him he is already going to be Batman, so he will have to settle for Robin. In the course of the conversation, the little brother comes up with alternate 'man' heroes that he can be...like, "Fart-Man" and "Burp-Man" and "Toot-Man". I am proud to say this is right up my son's alley! As Charlie Brown would say, right before the Great Pumpkin rises from the pumpkin patch and burps in his face, "AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" (If you look closely, you'll notice Linus is trying to teach Sally how to arm fart. That boy really knows how to impress a girl!)

Halloween...Part Two.

Trick or treating is over. Eli has arrived home with a bucket full of candy. The weather was beautiful. I sat on my porch and handed out treats without even wearing a coat. It was the kind of fall evening that you wish would never end. And before the night was through, it did, indeed, feel like the night that WOULD never end. Since Phillip was gone, and Cassidy was at a party, I had grand plans of turning off all of the lights when we ran out of candy, and watching a movie in the basement while Eli invoked on his 'sugar-high' adventure. Sadly, he didn't quite grasp the concept of, "We are OUT OF CANDY! DO NOT (Yoda reference) answer that door!" Whatever. He found that when people rang the bell, it was great fun to open the door, yell "BOO!" and slam the door again. I spent another 45 minutes coming upstairs every 5 minutes to apologize for his holiday rudeness. By the time that settled down, I was SO READY for an evening with my boys from OCEAN'S ELEVEN. ( I know, not scary, but such a fine guilty pleasure. Besides, Whitney is in Vegas right now at a writing conference and had just visited the lovely Bellagio fountains the night before so it was kind of a channeling/bonding moment with her!) George Clooney has barely left the joint to meet up with Brad Pitt when Eli starts crying..."My tooth, my tooth. It's jabbing into my gums. Ow! Ow! Ow!" You get the picture. Well, sure enough, his dead tooth which he practically knocked out on the Winco floor five years ago had finally become loose and gained feeling in the nerves. For the next 30 minutes, he alternated with wiggling it with his tongue, and screaming, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" (He is my son...low tolerance for pain!) Eventually, about the time Brad and the boys were trying to knock out the power all over Vegas, he pulled the tooth! Hooray. Our evening can quiet down now and I can finish this show. Except, I was so tired by now, that I fell asleep. I might have stayed in that blissful state, except that my phone started singing the Indiana Jones theme. Just one of Cassidy's friends, calling me from Walmart to tell me they had wii-fit. (Note to friend: If you really loved me like I think you do, you would've just bought it for me! JK!) Luckily, the phone call came right as the men were basking in the beauty of the fountains while Claire de Lune played in the background, so I was able to see my favorite part of the movie. Thanks, Cody! About this time Cassidy texts from her party to say the movie is running late, can she stay past curfew? Sure. Just be home soon, and drive safely. By the time I hit 'send' on my text reply, Eli is again screaming bloody murder, "I'm shocked! I'm shocked!" Apparently he had tried to plug in the charger for his DS and got a little jolt of electricity, which I had to spend the next 45 minutes explaining to him the difference between a small jolt and death by electrocution. By the way he was screaming, you would have thought he experienced the latter, not the sooner. He was only asleep about 5 minutes when Cassidy came zipping through the door. We talked for awhile and then she went to bed. I stayed up a little longer, going over the day and reminding myself (thank goodness!) that Halloween comes but once a year, and even with all the weirdness it brings, I would miss it if it wasn't here!