Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Batter Up!

My friend Karalee has a quote from Dumbledore on her blog. "Numbing the pain for awhile makes it worse when you finally feel it." Today that quote fit my life to a tee. My only brother passed away unexpectedly in December. It made the winter seem even longer, and now it's taking forever for summer to come. There are still moments when I think, "If only the sun would shine, I would wake up from my bad dream and John would be on the other end of the phone, telling me his trademark jokes and making me laugh." Not to be. I spent the morning with my parents picking out a memorial stone for the sight where they have chosen to bury his ashes. It was weird. I always thought he would be with me, picking out the headstones for our parents, not the other way around.


It reminded me of when he used to play baseball. He could throw a mean curveball, and usually strike out his batter. I think the last six months have dealt our family a bad curveball, and we were the ones who struck out! Now it's time for me to get up off the bench, grab a bat, take a swing, and start playing the game again. The numbness has worn off, I've felt the pain, and now I'm ready to heal.

5 comments:

Karalee said...

Dearest Joy. Here's to working through the 7 stages of grief....it sounds like you're on your way.

Nead Family said...

Joy,
I didn't know your brother passed. I'm so sorry...I'm glad you are feeling like getting up and enjoying life again....that's probably what your brother would want you to do....You are one of the strongest women I know. And one of the happiest....so, I'm sorry for your loss and I pray you will feel comfort and love....
Love, Summer

Nead Family said...

P.S.--whenever I see spring flowers appearing out of the snow for the first time....it always reminds me of you and your yard and how it's the little 'miracles' that we can find "joy" in!

Sandy said...

Joy,
I am sorry for your loss and all that it entails. I understand your pain. I remember when my dad died how difficult it was to fathom life without him and 'get back in the swing of things'. You are in my prayers. I promise, dad by day you will feel better, but you will always miss him.
Love, Sandy

KJ said...

you are such a trooper...and the long wintery days really do make things more bitter. Here's to scattering sunshine all along the way, since Mother Nature won't...