Monday, February 22, 2010

Clap for the Wolfman...

Well, I did it. I finally broke down and went to see "New Moon." I'll admit, I was giddy with excitement thinking about how much fun I had at "Twilight." I'm not a big fan of the books.
In fact, I'm not a fan of them at all. Cassidy, Whitney, Kim and I had such fun at "Twilight" mocking the ever-pale Mr. Cullen as he pouted and flew and glistened and strutted his stuff around Forks. It did have it's high points. Vampire baseball is awesome to watch, especially when accompanied by Muse's Supermassive Black Hole. Edward's grey pea coat is a 'must-have' for all the best dressed vampires on the planet. And, when it comes to neck-breaking, SNAP! Those vampires have that down to a science. So, I really was looking forward to an evening with Cassidy, and again, the lovely Miss Kimberly. At the last minute, Cassidy's friend Ryan came along for the ride. Short of wearing a trench coat and dark glasses to camoflage himself in a theater filled mainly with pre-teen girls and over-age women with a fetish for all things Edward/Jacob, he was about to be introduced to the world of Vampires and Werewolves. My "New Moon" review is as follows:
1. Edward was even a whiter shade of pale in this sequel. Skin the color of Elmer's paste in a jar is NOT attractive. Not on anyone. Especially not on Robert Pattinson. And his lips are that unhealthy magenta color. ICK!
2. Bella, oh Bella, two questions: 1-Why are you such a whiner? No girl I know sits around for 6 months mourning her lost vampire love. Most girls would've gotten up off of the couch, bought some motorcycles, and found a werewolf mechanic. Oh, wait, You did that. 2-Why are you such a player? Get over yourself already. How many girls on the planet can say they have been loved by both a vampire and a werewolf? Make up your mind. I just want to slap you for using Mr. Lautner and then flying off to Italy to meet up with 3 of the baddest looking dudes/vampires I have ever seen just to save your dead boyfriend from coming out of the vampire closet. Have a heart. Werewolves have feelings, too.
3. Speaking of werewolves, I have just three words for Taylor. Nice. Hair. Cut. Not since Michael Bolton has any man ever had worse looking long hair than you. Four more words. Put your shirt on. I'll make it five words. Put. Your. Shirt. On. NOW! And while we're talking about werewolves, those 'man-pree' pants were ridiculous. When transforming from shirtless man into a fake animatronic wolf, I hear gym shorts made of spandex are easier and not as binding. Just a thought. Smooth move, though, in the theater scene when you just grabbed Bella's hand in a flash. I could tell she liked it. A Lot. Plus, taking a girl to a movie called FACE PUNCH buys a lot of points with the ladies. Ryan is still asking when that is coming out on video.
4. The dialogue in this movie was so contrived and predicatable. I'm surprised we weren't kicked out of the theater for how many times we had to repeat what the characters were saying, if only for humor's sake. At one point I said OUT LOUD, "It's not a lifestyle choice. I was born this way." The people behind us were laughing so hard they couldn't stop.
5. That Dakota Fanning makes a wicked looking baby vampire. I DO NOT want to ever meet up with her in an Italian-esque cathedral. And her three Volturi friends. Bad. Dudes. Bad. Hair. Bad Robes. Bad. Bad. Bad.
6. The scenery was pretty. I wish I had a forest behind my house where I could fly through trees, or just lay in the grass for hours surrounded by flowers and vampires.
7. The best part of the movie for me, THE. End. Before it was over, it felt as if we had actually fallen into a Supermassive Black Hole. The soundtrack disappointed, and I expected a little more substance and plot. If I had to choose Team Edward or Jacob, I think I'll go with Jacob. In my opinion, tan is always better than pasty white. Always!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Bleeding Love

Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, Mr. Phil and I decided to something romantic AND out-of-the-ordinary. No dinner and a movie for us. Too commonplace for a love like ours. No flowers or candy, either. After all, those flowers will die eventually and the cholesterol checks the week prior have us abstaining from anything sweet and delicious. However, when duty calls, we are front row and center. Today, duty equals a Boy Scout needing help with an Eagle project. The project: a blood drive. So together we went, hand in hand, to share a little bit of what we have that someone else might need. Plenty of upsides to this date. First of all, IT WAS FREE! Second of all, they do play 'romantic' music while you wait. (???Why does the Red Cross equate 'romantic' with country?) Luckily I had my i-pod ready with Leona all cued up to sing "Bleeding Love". Very apropo, considering the circumstances. Sadly, it was not to be. The i-pod died just as the needle went in and I was forced to listen to "Life is a Highway" and some other unidentifiable songs about drinking, D-I-V-O-R-C-E, and a dog in a truck. However, when it was all said and done, we were both a pint less on blood, but happy to know that someday, somewhere we may have made a small difference for someone else. Besides, the best part of the date: (Also free!) Cookies and punch. I guess we will have to get back on the no-sweets wagon another day. Plus, I'm still holding out that my REAL Valentine will actually be a dog. in a truck. Something for me. Something for him. Isn't that the way love's supposed to be?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Feeling VERY Olympic today...

I want that. The opening ceremony hat. Once again, "the beauty, the romance, the world of Ralph Lauren" has tempted me beyond my means. If I had a spare $75 laying around right now it would. be. mine.
*not digging the white pants. Khaki would've been better. Isn't there some sort of fashion rule that states, "Don't wear white after Labor Day?" Maybe this rule doesn't apply in "the beauty, the romance, the world of Ralph Lauren."

Just-(In)-Other Dumb Blonde

Remember that song "Another Dumb Blonde" by Hoku? I loved it. I still love it. Today I experienced it when Justin, my bestie and co-worker at the Arts Council 'outed' himself as a member of the dumb blonde club. We were having a pre-Valentine's Day party and he was in charge of ordering the pizza for lunch. Trying to show off his executive assistant skills, he opted to place the order on-line. We even tracked it. Someone named Diane put 3 pizzas for us in the oven at 11:36 a.m. Justin went to pick them up, but when he got there Pizza Hut didn't have record of our order. They claimed they were having 'internet issues.' (Been there, done that!) Anyway, they offered 20% off the order and still made it for us. Justin returned with yummy pizza and The Office was happy again. That is, until Justin gets an e-mail from Domino's asking him when he's going to pick up his order. Ha! ha! Ha! I was laughing out. loud. when he admitted this experience brought him out of the closet and into the world of another dumb blonde. You go, girl! I mean, you go, guy! Hoku would be proud. That's alright, that's okay, we loved the pizza anyway!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

In honor of February being 'heart-health' month, my numero uno and myself had our cholesterol checked a few weeks ago. Today, the results were delivered. I'm happy to say we are both relatively healthy and should be around for each other for many years to come. HOWEVER, each of us needs to do some slight modifications in our eating and exercising. I need to raise a few points in one area, Phillip needs to lower a few points in another. So, to insure that we will live to see another 'heart-healthy' February, today is the day we start changing things up a bit. Eating even more fruits and vegetables, eliminating massive amounts of Miracle Whip (Mr. Phil), drinking more water (Miss Joy) eliminating fried foods (Both--Do you think french fries and tots are considered 'fried'?) and adding more resistance training to our workouts. We're on the right track. We just need to get better at what we are doing. One step at a time in the right direction. As long as we're taking those steps together, I think we'll make it. Especially if we also eliminate anything wrapped in shiny paper that resembles chocolate. (Perhaps that modification will occur after February 14th.)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

p.s. I love you

February is upon us. Time for love and romance, flowers and candy, perfume and presents. I discovered this little gem of a gift while window shopping in the mall yesterday. I'm sending some to my missionary. After all, it does reference one of our all time favorite songs by the Fab Four.

As I write this letter
Send my love to you
Remember that I'll always
Be in love with you.
Treasure these few words 'til we're together
Keep all my love forever
p.s. I love you
you, you, you.

Oh, and yes, I will be sending it with a letter, signed affectionately, of course, p.s. i love you.